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最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 09:09
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最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 09:09
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最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 09:09
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The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
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The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
Attention to health is life\'s greatest hindrance.
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
It\'s dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that\'s successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
I don\'t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
There\'s many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
Everywhere I go I\'m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don\'t stifle enough of them.
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So I rang up a local building firm, I said \'I want a skip outside my house.\' He said \'I\'m not stopping you.\'
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
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Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
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The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
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Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
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About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
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Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
After every \'victory\' you have more enemies.
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The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
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Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
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The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
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It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
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A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
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God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
Don\'t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
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There\'s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
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Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It\'s the transition that\'s troublesome.
If you think it\'s simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
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To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don\'t think.
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It\'s wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
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Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
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Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
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Everywhere I go I\'m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don\'t stifle enough of them.
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Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
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A physicist is an atom\'s way of knowing about atoms.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it\'s good it\'s wonderful, and when it\'s bad it\'s still pretty good.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
It\'s clearly a budget. It\'s got a lot of numbers in it.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can\'t it get us out?
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
Sex is like air. It\'s only a big deal if you can\'t get any.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
Hearing nuns\' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn\'t take it out of my garden.
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The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
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Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
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Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
If there?s one thing I know it?s God does love a good joke.
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
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Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels?!
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
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When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
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Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT\'S relativity.
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